Open, not exposed.
A guide and an app for reading men, trusting slowly, and living without fear.
One-time payment. Instant access. No account.
You’re allowed to be afraid and hopeful at the same time.
Two promises before anything else.
I won’t tell you your fear is silly.
I won’t tell you every man is a threat.
Your fear isn’t silly, and not every man is a threat. Believing either one would cost you something.The safety tools in this guide are options, not obligations. If someone harms you, it is never because you missed a flag. The person who did it is responsible.
How would you read his reply?
Six texts, each one after a no. Sort them the way you see them. There’s no failing this, and no wrong instinct.
OrdinaryYellow flagRed flag
31%nearly one in three
of women in the US have been stalked in their lifetime.
Your caution has a basis.
That’s why “just relax” is bad advice. But the numbers can’t tell you who is dangerous, and you can’t see it on a face. So this guide judges behavior over time, not first impressions.
Source: CDC, National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, 2016/2017 report on stalking.
Seventeen short chapters, in plain language.
Read it in one sitting or one chapter at a time. Four parts, in order.
- I
The Fear and the Facts
What is true, what isn’t, and how to tell the difference.
Chapters 1 to 4 - II
What #MeToo Taught Us
The history, the numbers, and the conversation that followed.
Chapters 5 to 9 - III
Your Tools
Practical ways to trust slowly, say no, get help, and keep living.
Chapters 10 to 16 - IV
Both Sides of the Table
Maturity, effort, and how anyone can help someone feel safe.
Chapter 17
The guide’s tools, in your pocket.
The app opens with one question. Tap an answer on the phone to see what you’d find.
- Nothing you type is saved or sent.
- Quick exit on every screen.
- English, Spanish and Bosnian.
What’s going on?
Pay once. Yours to keep.
Read the guide, carry the app, or get both. Checkout is through Square, and you get access the moment you pay.
The guide
The complete guide, PDF
- All 17 chapters, in four parts
- The flags table, the trust ladder, and the say-no scripts
- First-date safety and what to do when it’s unwanted
- Every source listed, plus a hotline directory
Secure checkout. Instant download.
The companion app
On your phone, in English, Spanish and Bosnian
- The guide’s tools, interactive: flags, say-no scripts, the trust ladder
- Date check-in message, calm check, and steps for when it’s unwanted
- Nothing you type is saved or sent.
- Quick exit on every screen.
Secure checkout. Instant access.
The guide is written in English. The app is in English, Spanish and Bosnian.
Boyfriend of the year. Husband of the year. Bestie of the year.
Not a test. Not a trap. This part is for the men in her life and the friends in her corner.
Most men work hard all day, are tired, and are not trying to play anyone. Women deserve to know that too.
The difference between boys and men isn’t age or size. It’s showing up with respect, being honest about what you want, taking a no without making someone pay for it, and owning your mistakes.
Two asks, going both ways. Women are invited to say what they mean when it is safe to. Men are invited to hear it the first time.
A man who respects a no is the safest thing a woman can meet. You can be that.
Bring it to your campus.
We’re building editions for Iowa colleges, each in the school’s own colors, so students get the guide and the app together.
Licenses are available for colleges, student groups and organizations.
Questions, answered.
Is anything I type in the app saved?
No. Nothing you type is saved or sent anywhere.
Do I need an account?
No. Pay once through Square and you go straight to your guide or your app.
How do I get the guide after I pay?
Right after checkout your guide opens, with steps for saving it. Save it to your phone or computer so it’s always with you.
I got a new phone. How do I get the app back?
The app stays unlocked on the phone you opened it on. On a new phone, email tntservicesandmorellc@gmail.com with your receipt.
Can I put the app on my Home Screen?
Yes. Right after you unlock it, the app shows you how, step by step for iPhone and Android. After that it opens with one tap, like any other app.
What languages is it in?
The guide is written in English. The app is in English, Spanish and Bosnian, and you can switch any time.
Is this against men?
No. We’re seeking understanding, not turning people away from each other. There’s a whole part written for the men who want to show up well.
Is this therapy or legal advice?
No. It’s general information that can help you think things through. For your specific situation, a licensed professional or an advocate can help, and the numbers below are free.
If you need someone now.
You don’t have to be certain, or ready to report, to call. Advocates can talk through options with you.
Suicidal thoughts or emotional crisis
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
988Call or text, 24/7. In Spanish: call 988 and press 2, or text AYUDA to 988.
Domestic or dating violence, stalking
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233Text START to 88788. TTY 1-800-787-3224. Chat at thehotline.org.
Dating abuse, teens and young adults
love is respect
1-866-331-9474Text LOVEIS to 22522. loveisrespect.org
Any crime, referrals and information
VictimConnect
1-855-484-2846Call or text, or chat at victimconnect.org. Stalking information: stalkingawareness.org
These are US numbers. Outside the US, search for your country’s equivalent.